August 2009

Communicating Difficult News with Confidence and Respect

Being a leader is not easy. Dealing with complex issues sometimes requires that you hold your tongue, and sometimes requires that you speak up. Discerning which of the two is necessary can be a challenge. But one thing I know for sure is that the way you deliver the message can help pave the way for a constructive resolution, rather than digging the hole even deeper.

I found myself in one of these sticky situations at a recent meeting. A fairly heated discussion was brewing. You could sense fear and defensiveness in the air. Caught up in the tensions and feeling the need to make a point, I blurted out a comment that I immediately wished I had the power to gather up in my arms and shove back down my throat!

It wasn’t meant to be a deliberate slam. It was just meant to serve as an example of something I thought we could improve. Saying it the way I did was a stupid mistake. It was not good leadership, and it plagued me for a while until I was able to make amends.

Even with the best intentions, leaders can slip up—we’re all human after all. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have the responsibility to strive to be more thoughtful under difficult circumstances.

As a result of launching my new web site, www.tellurboss.com, I’ve heard many comments from participants, colleagues and friends about how leaders they’ve known have risen to the ranks of masterful communicators, and how others have acted like complete a**holes! Believe me, how you communicate as a leader has a lasting impression. What impression are you making in your daily interactions? And how is it affecting your team’s ability to get the job done?

Put It into Practice:

As the dust cleared a few days after this situation erupted, I reflected on what I would have liked to do differently. I wasn’t sorry I had made the point—making the point was what a good leader would have done. But I was sorry for the way I presented it.

To avoid these missteps in the future, I penned the following advice to myself, and I now use it to center myself when I feel the tensions rise:

Do not seek power over people. Seek to have a voice. To let that voice be heard, first listen.

It’s advice we can all use to keep our foot out of our mouth—and to build stronger, more respectful relationships.

Perform at Your Peak:

Help your staff effectively manage difficult communications situations by signing on for our signature seminar, Critical Conversations for Peak Performance. We’ll review and practice several strategies to get the point across without sacrificing mutual respect.

Ovations Inc. takes corporate teams out of the office to experience activities such as cooking, yoga, golf, scavenger hunts and more. Teams focus on various areas of peak performance and apply the learnings back to the work environment. Contact us to find out how can help take your team to the top.

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